I'm not in good place mentally & emotionally right now. I'm feeling really abandoned and unsupported thru this issue involving my spouse and his daughter. It is making me see that I do not have in him what I thought I did. We left counseling and I repeatedly stated I need him to support me. I confessed to feeling alone. I cried. Hell im still crying and he is just disappointing. 

I don't know what's going to happen next I just know I don't want to continue to feel like this. 



I don't have the energy nor the desire to type all the emotions I'm feeling right now. To say that I am pissed would be an understatement. I'm so frustrated and disappointed at my husband right now that I feel a level of anger.... hurt... betrayal....all of it be more than I have felt probably ever.  I really wonder where we go from here. I wonder how I connect with him emotionally when I have lost something that I can't even put a finger on yet towards him. it's almost like when you're a kid in you find out it like Santa's not real it's like a certain sorta security or level of truth that you thought was there isn't there anymore. It's a very empty feeling. I think that's the easiest way to put it emptiness and it's like a loss of hope. 

It's times like this that I miss my friends in Florida... because I could just go there not feel trapped & alone. I wish I had a place to lay my head... Put it on my friends shoulder and be told that it'll be all right. 

I just want things to go back to where I was happy in my own home. 


Goodbye Winter

I am so glad that winter is over.... I do not like the cold. I am so happy to be able to go outside and feel the warmth of the sun on my face. It also gives me the freedom to do more physical activities with family and friends.

Speaking of physical activities i have been back to 'running' in OCRs aka Obstacle Cours Races. I have several coming up and I have completed 2 so far in 2016. I also have a few 5ks thrown in for good measure.

Here is what I am registered for so far...

9   Savage Race Spring ~10am start time
16 Glow it Blue 1k/5k 8:30pm
23 Dirty Girl Mud 10am start time

21 Paint Wars 

11 Terrain Race. 10am 10k

6 Udder Mud Run http://www.uddermudrun.com/  Covington, GA 
20 Rugged Maniac 10:30 wave. Timed

Here are the Facebook links to the ones I have completed this far.

01/24 Hot Chocolate 15k. 2:25
02/28 Atlanta Mission 5k 58minutes
03/06 Spartan Sprint 3:15 6 miles
03/13 5k in Paradise  6 miles about 55min

03/19 Muddy Brute in Tallapoosa, GA

I am working on making 2016 a great year as every year I am alive is truly a blessing and I want to know that I have made good use of my time on this earth.  Life is too short to settle for less than wha you really want. I plan to blog more and share whats goin' on with me. I welcome comments and feedback.

take care and God bless.


Spartan Sprint 2016

     Well I haven't posted in awhile, but I had to post about my 1st OCR of the 2016 year. It was the Spartan Sprint. It was a beautiful Sunday morning in Conyers, Georgia. I has been very reluctant and nervous about this race. Although I am fitter than I have been in years and have been off and on working out... I just couldn't get excited about the race.

     Part of my ambivalence was the fact that I was not 'racing' with my usual friend Jackie or anyone that I really knew. I had one new friend Bianca who is older and super fun who was racing on the same day as me. So i get there super early and have hubby and the kids drop me off at the site. I wondered around...took a few pics and then I went over to the GORMR(Georgia Obstacles Runners and Mud Runners) tent and tried to be chill. Eventually Bianca arrived and then I felt better. I also made a new friend, Patricia, who is around my age and fun as well.   They included me and pushed me and we had a blast on the course.


had a blast ... met new people ... and finished strong.

I am Spartan.


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