4.05.2009

Weekend Whoas & Wonders

It was my anniversary weekend so I got to spend some QT with my hubby. All in all it was a good weekend. I did eat 2 much & I will have to work really hard to over compensate for what I ate.

DH and I did have a few words today because in a nutshell I feel misunderstood. I do not think it is too much to expect to have my anniversary weekend be a weekend that does not involve having company. This is the same issue we have had discussion after discussion about. I am so tired that I do not even feel like talking about it anymore. The fact that my simple request for quality time could be so easily disregarded just broke my heart. I know that every marriage is different and myabe this situation would be fine with another woman but it is not fine with me. I try my best to give my hubby my best. I do not do things repeatedly that he would not like or that bother him. I tyr to respect his rules & wishes. Maybe I am not a good wife like I see myself and that is why he feels/see it as okay to do what he does without a second thought.

I just do not know. I do know that I am still upset and it has been several hours. I wish my feelings would pass or change but they haven't. I have been in an unhappy marriage. This marriage is going to last, but I hate the thought of decades of dealing with stuff like this. Please do not get me wrong, I love my husband. And all in all he is a great guy, but it just seems like his priorities and his thought process sometimes are counterintuitive to what is best for our marriage. I wish I could just be okay with every Saturday night spent alone. But I am not. I wish I could accept that I am powerless when it comes to havig people injected in to my world/life when I don't want them. But I can't.

I feel so sad, but at least I was able to give my feelings a voice. Hopefully this voice will help me find the answers I need to find.

On a brighter note, my hubby got a wii fit and we played it a ton this weekend. My son visited form Friday-Sunday home from college. Hubby & I went tout for lunch on Friday & Staurday and out for dinner oon Friday & Sunday.Yay 4 me I didn't have 2 cook.

1 comment:

  1. Im sorry :( I feel the same way with my boyfriend though, that all of his needs come first, even when I have struggled to put his needs ahead of mine.

    Maybe we should just start putting ourselves first for a change.

    Happy Anniversary :)

    ReplyDelete

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