4.07.2009

Well... it is what it is...

Hubby and I talked and I may be going back to work way sooner than I really wanted to. I must admit it kinda breaks my heart a little thinking about going back to work and having to leave my babies. I have kind of carved out a niche for myself here as a stay at home mom. I actually really like it...except for the struggling financially part. So I have to '"take one for the team" and see if I can help us get back on a more firm footing financially.

I have mixed emotions about the whole 'going back 2 work thing".But most of my feelings are negative just to warn you. I am mad at myself because maybe had I gone back to work earlier things would be better. Then I am mad because I don't really want to go back to work. I am jealous because my husbands 1st wife didn't have to work. I am mad because I wanted to do this on my own terms and I am not getting that opportunity. Then I am a sad about the thought of someone else spending their days with my two little ones. I hate the thought of someone else getting most of their giggles and smiles and cries and drying their tears. I wanna do that.

I wish I felt better about it all. Maybe this personal training things is my best bet for work without having to work a straight 9-5. I am so filled with emotion that I am worn out. I can and will get through this..maybe sleep will help clear my mind. It sure can't hurt.

3 comments:

  1. I'm sorry you are having such a hard time. My best friend was a SAHM but had to go back to work when her husband lost his job. She had some of the same feelings you do.

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  2. I try to think of my workouts as a business. Think about you have a job to yourself. If I were to skip work like I put off workouts I'd be fired. I try to think of it as investment in myself.

    Being seperated from your kids is hard. But perhaps count your blessings in you have a way to provide for your family.

    Finantial is a part of fitness, just as diet and exersize and family and mental health and spiritual health.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Stormy, I'm so sorry that you're having to deal with this. This economy is rough, and I'm sure that it was difficult for your hubby to ask you to go back to work.
    Try to hang in there....maybe you'll be back home sooner than you thought.

    ReplyDelete

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