8.30.2009

One of these days...


Every had one of those days that you wanted to end but yet you didn't wanna face the day to come? That is how I am feeling now. Life has me running like a million miles per hour. I haven't been to the gym in 2 weeks. I am eating every piece of sweet I can put my mouth on. My sex life is non-existent. I am behind on my household stuff. And the list goes on. I can & will get through this. In my heart I am sure of it.. .. ..

However, I need to share why I am really stressed about. I am dealing with my mother and her depression and it is so difficult. I try to console her and be there for her, but it is getting so frustrating. I do not even know how to explain what she does and says that drives me crazy.

She says that she is lonely and sad. I suggest getting counseling and/or medication. She yells at me and tells me she's tried everything. If I say volunteer at church or shelter. She tells me she's tried that and it too hard for emotionally. She calls me every day to talk to my 2yr old... Not my 18yr old, or the 12 yr old, or even me. It is like she is using him to fill an emotional need. I know crazy huh? Thats what I think too. Any who... I just wanted to share... I know that this is great place for support and understanding.

I miss reading every one's blog. I am hoping that his long weekend I will be able to catch up. By the way, the new job is coming along. I am still not as organized at it as I want to be but I am making progress. I think the students are slowly taking to me. :-) Enough outta me for now. I will be back and hopefully sooner than later.

8.23.2009

What a week...

Well .... you are reading it right. I have a job. I got a last minute interview on Monday. The principal called me at 315pm, by 530pm I was in his office doing/having a brief interview. He wanted me to start on the next day, but I had to wait until Wednesday to start because my dad was flying in Tuesday a.m. AND I needed to find a sitter. So I spent Tuesday looking for a sitter and getting in some quality time with me dad.

Wednesday a.m. came to quickly after a night of very little sleep. The students seem good, but I need to get my classroom how I like it. I am now a 7th grade Social Studies teacher. More details to come.

8.13.2009

(written on Friday) I want to feel like the weekend is for me to relax, but I have a feeling that is not going to happen unless i get some stuff done. So another list...No laughing....

Oh well I started this post and never got around to finish it. I sit here with my hubby making diner. I should be grateful but I am in a shitty mood. I am still unemployed. I am still fat. My hubby still gets on my nerves alot. It is like he has no idea what I going through and I alos think he is to picky about stuff. I take care of as many a 7 kids and use on a daily basis. Our finances are tight and that is totally stressing me out. I wanna feel carefree sometimes, but it is really hard espcialy being a mom & a wife. I need 2 take more time for myself but it rarely happens.

8.11.2009

To do Tuesday

II really thought I was getting stuff done. I was mistaken.

This is yesterdays leftover list.
I have got 2 be better today. Focus. Focus. Focus. (said in a chanting voice)
  1. finish all laundry
  2. balance bills
  3. workout
  4. job hunt
  5. clean kitchen floor
  6. work on my 101 in 1001 list
  7. catch up on OPB
Well another day that did not work out as planned. I did squeeze in a 45 min workout. But I spent 3 hours of my afternoon getting my stepson registered for high school. What a pain in the behind. I did, however, get a job lead that I am praying for.

8.10.2009

Mellow Monday

My daughter starts back schoool. Yay.
I don't have ajob yet. Boo.

I am going back to the gym Yay.
I weighed 208.8# yesterday which isn't too bad at all considering how I have been eating with reckless disregard.

Here is what I hope to accomplish to do:
  • finish all laundry
  • balance bills
  • clean out fridge
  • workout--done 45mins
  • job hunt--applied to 2 job in COBB County, emailed resume to a contact, and other 4 districts didn't have any jobs open that I qualify for.
  • clean kitchen floor
  • work on my 101 in 1001 list
  • catch up on OPB (other peoples blog)---i was behind but I am trying to read and catch up

Gotta run. Life calls.

Gym
  • 15minutes on recumbent bike
  • 30 minutes on crossramp/eliptical

8.09.2009

School starting


My oldest daughter is going into 7th grade tomorrow. Then next week my oldest son starts his sophomore year in college. Where has the time gone...? It slips away. I have to cherish life and enjoy it.

I haven't worked out in probably 2 weeks. But i am going to the gym 2morrow. I have my gym bag packed. I need 2 find my headphones. I am hoping my blahs will diminish as I get back n2 the swing of life.

There are many things 4 me 2 complain about, but complaining isn't going to make what is bothering me any better. Just say a prayer for me as I weather the storm that is my life.

8.02.2009

Fresh start needed..

As I finish off a tube of Oreo cookies & read blogs I really feel caught in my own ocean of emotions. I have been thinking about why I have been doing what I have been doing. I am doing it because I am choosing to stay this way. But why I ask myself....I realize that I have been using food and it has been abusing me. I don't wanna do this anymore.

I did it and now I am done. I do not want to keep hating what I see in the mirror. IT all begins and ends with me.

I wantto write more but baby is crying. More in the a.m.

8.01.2009

Lost but soon to be found

My internet has been shaky and my desire to post has been shaky also. But I am getting out of my funk. My weight has stayed about the same so that is good. I have been on 5 more interviews. I was feeling really good about them. One principal even told me she would recommend me for the position. I was so excited. The next day that district froze all hiring. So for now I am waiting for the call for work. I am a bit bummed because teacher planning starts Monday. I really wanted to start with the rest of the teachers, but it doesn't seem to be in cards for me yet.

Some one sent me a text that read " A delay is not a denial." I am keeping that in my head. I will be back on track.

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