11.27.2009

Last day being 37....

Yes my bday is 2morrow. I can't believe that I am going to be 38. In some ways I feel it and in others I don't. My spirit is young and vibrant. My body is in between. I can do pretty much everything I need to do.However, I get tired more easy than I want. I also have a few things on my lifelong to do list that I physically cannot do YET.
My hubby got me a bodybugg (just what i asked for) and it has given me an interesting peakinto my actual calorie burn. I love it 2 say the least. I am actually tracking what I eat. That has alwasy been a major abttle/issue for me.

11.22.2009

My birthday outing

I went out dancing with some girl friends Friday night. I celebrated early because my real bday falls on the Saturday after thanksgiving. So I figured that everyone would be busy. I had a blast. I drank a little 2 much, but woke up feeling great. I danced the night away. Going out with my girlfriends is fun. The hardest part was finding an out fit that I felt attractive in. Here is a pic of me with hubby just before I left the house.
I wanted to get some really cute boots but my calves seem to be oversized so I couldn't find any that fit comfortably. It's weird I know that I am pretty enough, but my weight just does nothing for me. I hate ,y double chin. That is one thing I can't wait to get rid of. I know you are wondeirng...no i haven't been to weight watchers in a week. It seems to pointless. I don't track. I don't feel like it. Apparently eating is more important to me. I wish I knew why. Maybe it because it is so much easier.
I think hubby is getting me the body bugg. I hope he does then maybe that'll be the inspiration i need.

11.10.2009

Humpty Hump

  • weigh in--
  • workout--
  • finish laundry--yes i am still working on it
  • cook dinner
  • clean glass table
  • add info to sparkpeople
  • track my points & calories
feeling really blah and hoping that Wednesday I get more done.

11.08.2009

Monday Monday

Sunday was very productive even though I feel yuck. I have been sniffling all weekend. But I will continue on... I felt like it was a good day overall. I feel ready for the week. I am going to change WW meeting from Tuesday to Monday. I will be meeting new people but its cool.

My to do list today 11/08/09
  • weigh in--will weigh in WW
  • workout--
  • finish laundry--finish up
  • print packing slips
  • cook dinner
  • calculate fund raising stuff for daughter
  • email/text ppl who ordered
  • clean glass table
  • add info to sparkpeople
  • track my points & calories
Still got the sniffles. I forgot my sudafed and paid the price for it today at work. Oh well.
Work was decent. The people I work with a pretty fun to be around. We laugh and joke and work hard. What more could I ask for, well. a little more money would be nice. :-)

I spent 2 hours of my evening helping book a flight for my mom to come visit. So ironic on so many levels. 1st because her last Christmas visit was a nightmare. She made me so inhappy that I cried a few times. She was no help with the kids. She criticized everything I did and talked about me behind my back bad to my son and my husband. 2ndly because i don't even want her here. I know that she is my mom, but you don't pick your relatives. It is so unfair when she visits. I got so gypped n the parent department. I am so thankful that I am not more screwed up. I am so serious. Did I mention how she was bitching & complaiing the majority of the phone call....? And she didnt even say thank you.

Oh well.... its water under the bridge. 2morrow is a new day.

Exercise and rewards - NOV & DEC 2009

Warmup
• Weekend Recumbent Bike 10 minutes
• Weekday Recumbent Bike 5 minutes

Weekdend cardio
• Sunday CrossTrainer 50 minutes Interval 1-1/10-5
• Saturday XTrainer 30minutes on weight training

Cardio Rotation
• Stairmaster
• Stairstepper
• Rowing Machine
• Treadmill

Rewards by Week
1. Eyebrows waxed
2. Nails
3. Hair
4. Jeans
5. Bra
6. Exercise outfit
7. Massage
8. Body bugg

Breakdown
11/8/09 Week 1 213# 45.9%
11/15 Week 2
11/22 Week 3
11/29 Week 4
12/6 Week 5
12/13 Week 6
12/20 Week 7
12/27 Week 8

Being productive...

My to do list today 11/08/09
  • weigh in 213#
  • workout--60 MINUTES OF CARDIO
  • finish laundry--started
  • iron clothes for work
  • take vitmains
  • charge iPod
  • print packing slips
  • pack gym bag
  • cook dinner
  • calculate fund raising stuff for daughter
  • email/text ppl who ordered
  • clean my room
  • clean glass table
  • add info to sparkpeople
  • track my points & calories
11am--workout done, just finishing eating breakfast..now I have to focus on getting things done. My workout was really good. I worked out a nice sweat and really cleared my head. I came up with an incentive list. I wanna workout everyday. For each week that i meet my goal I give myself a reward. The rewards are awesome because they help me treat myself. I think if I treat myself then I will feel more self-worth. I know that lately I have not been feeling like I am as valauble as I know in my heart that I am.

WW vs AA

I have fallen off the bandwagon and I have fallen hard. I can say that I grateful that my drug of choice is food. It is like I sneak around to eat stuff. I think about food way too much. Its really kinda of sad. I am actually really embarassed. I am in the viscious cycle. I eat then I hate how I look and feel. Then I think about working out and sometimes I even work out only to overeat again. It is so not what I want for myself. It is like I give up too easy and do not work hard on getting my life in order.

I read a quote . . . .

If we really love ourselves, everything in our life works. Louise L. Hay

So I guess there is some level of self loathing going on. I know it will not help me reach my goals. I know I can start over at any time. So why not now. Why not here. I want to stop this ridiculous cycle.

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