1.16.2011

uncontrollable intentions

I do not like things that I cannot control. I do not like things I cannot change either. I do not like having to deal with people that are problems. I think I am very normal in that sense.

I write that to say I wish I did not have people who cause drama and stress in my life. Some people cannot be avoided... my mom for example. I can only ignore her calls so much. I can only keep our conversations short. I have to do what is right by her with out jeopardizing my sanity, my marriage, and the welfare of my family.

I have been struggling with getting my body back to the gym. Its so frustrating sometimes. Frustrating when I think about it, When I see myself in the mirror. I wish I could just snap my finger and make this fat disappear. I know. I know. It isn't going to happen. But hey. I can dream.

I have great intentions. I intend to go to the gym. I intend to eat healthy. I intend to count my calories. But all of that equals nothing as i haven't done crap in weeks.

On well there is always 2morrow. Lord willing.

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