My mind is not into it today. I didn't get enough sleep and the sleep I did get was crappy. But I am here at the gym & for that I am so grateful. I am stressing about bills/money but I also know that is pointless. I think it is almost that time of the month. I have PMDD... like PMS but moodier. I just had my 1st month on the nuvaring and that helped. I am going to try it for this month coming up as well.
Anyway.. from where I am walking I can see pretty much 80% of gym floor. I make judgments, analysis. Etc. I love seeing older ppl working out. I wish my grand mom had took her health seriously. My mom is small but doesn't take care of herself either. She doesn't exercise and quit drinking and smoking only because she got locked up. My dad is overweight & outta shape also. So I have no personal role models for being healthy. Oh well... I will not allow that to be my excuse for continuing to be overweight & unhealthy. I deserve better for myself. My family deserves better. My children will see that eating right and
I actually started this post to ramble/complain about my disfunctional relationship with... food. All I have been thinkng about is Wendys. How much do I need to workout to afford myself a burger & fries. I feel so damn foolish. Yes their food is yummy. Yes it isn't the healthiest. But their is a certain numbin that comes from indulging in the hi fat.. processed food. I have to get to the bottom of that as well.
I feel so undone & broken sometimes. Like I have so much of me to fixed. But how much is really needing to be fixed & how much is my personal demons... Only God knows. With that being said I will end this post and get back to walking on this treadmill.