12.18.2011

End on a high... low note

2weeks til 2012
14 days...

How do I end doing the things I know I should do...? How do I get my mojo back and stop shorting changing myself. I sometimes wonder if I am kidding myself and that I do not really believe I can lose this weight. Or maybe I believe I am not worthy of being healthy . I just do not know. I feel really cropping actually that I am still this overeat. Yet not quite crappy enough to watch what  I eat on a daily basis.  So what the heck does that say about me...? I am not really sure. I am lazy. I am self destructive. I need to get to the bottom of this because I know that I want to be fit. I do not need to be a size 6. I need to be able to do daily activities with ease and grace and without pain.

I want to be be able to go shopping for clothes and not wanna cry when I have to try on an outfit. I want to feel like a complete and total success and not a complete and total fraud.

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