I'm sitting here at the park watching my 2 youngest play. It's a beautiful fall day. The park is wonderfully quiet especially compared to how jam packed it is here most days. I had different plans but things changed and I am just taking it for what it is. 

There is so much to be said for speaking your mind and your truth. People do not always want to hear you. You cannot let that stop you from saying what needs to be said or doing what needs to be done. You have to be your own advocate.... Your own supporter.... Even your own hero.  It's not popular or easy to say the least. You owe it to yourself. That's the bottom line. 

I think people who don't really know me would be shocked to find out that I am very..need I say uktra-sensitive. I wish I wasn't. I wish I was tougher and not so easily hurt by the actions or words. 

I can only be me & I wish that I felt like that was enough. Or at least I wish I cared a lot less about the opinions of others. 


Old Habits

I am 5 months post op VSG. My weight has gone down slowly but surely. I have not been on track as well as I should. I have gotten lazy and I am very frustrated with myself. Unfortunately, my feelings of frustration seems to only come after the fact. I have so much on my plate and balance has been hard to come by.

I am sure I can get my focus back. I think I need a better plan. I start my week strong but seem to end the week....weak. I love my husband and my family.... but I feel like I allow then to hold me back. It sucks having to put my foot down and do what I have to do in terms of food, time, grad school work, eating right...

I am most disappointed in myself for breaking promises to myself. I say I will do something and them I do not keep that self promise. How do I change that....? That is the question that I am working on my head.

Getting my focus and passion back for my improved health and better life is my mission this week.

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