I don't have the energy nor the desire to type all the emotions I'm feeling right now. To say that I am pissed would be an understatement. I'm so frustrated and disappointed at my husband right now that I feel a level of anger.... hurt... betrayal....all of it be more than I have felt probably ever. I really wonder where we go from here. I wonder how I connect with him emotionally when I have lost something that I can't even put a finger on yet towards him. it's almost like when you're a kid in you find out it like Santa's not real it's like a certain sorta security or level of truth that you thought was there isn't there anymore. It's a very empty feeling. I think that's the easiest way to put it emptiness and it's like a loss of hope.
It's times like this that I miss my friends in Florida... because I could just go there not feel trapped & alone. I wish I had a place to lay my head... Put it on my friends shoulder and be told that it'll be all right.
I just want things to go back to where I was happy in my own home.